When Grandma Beat the Pastor at Uno

A short story to help you laugh.

A Fellowship Hall Full of Fire

Friday night at Glory Temple wasn’t what it used to be.

Once reserved for quiet prayer and choir robe ironing, the fellowship hall had become ground zero for the weekly tradition now known as Sanctified Game Night.
Under twinkle lights and a suspiciously wobbly ceiling fan, the saints gathered to laugh, snack, and, when necessary, compete in the spirit.

There was dominoes in the corner, Scrabble near the kitchen, and one brother in the back praying over Monopoly because of what happened last month (it involved a questionable mortgage and someone getting rebuked for flipping the board).

But all eyes were always drawn to one place. The Uno table.

At its center sat Sister Geraldine, 88 years old, velvet pouch in hand, and not a wrinkle out of place.
Her presence alone made grown men clutch their cards tighter.

Her church name? Mother Draw Four.

A Crown of Cards and Confidence

Sister Geraldine didn’t just play Uno. She ministered it.
With a slow draw and a steady hand, she laid down reverses like prophecies and skipped folks like generational curses.

Every card had purpose.
Every move had weight.
And every win was sealed with a peppermint and a “Bless your heart.”

The younger saints respected her.
The older ones feared her.
And nobody, nobody, challenged her throne.

Until Pastor Mike showed up.

The Challenger Arrives

Pastor Mike was Glory Temple’s newly installed leader, a 33-year-old, full of fire, flair, and freshly pressed jeans.
He had a Master of Divinity and a minor in dramatic sermon illustrations.
He quoted Proverbs and Drake.
He was adored by the youth and tolerated by the elders.

On that particular Game Night, he strolled into the fellowship hall with a grin and a bag of trail mix.
When he saw the crowd gathered around Sister Geraldine, he chuckled.

“Mother G,” he said, “mind if I take a seat? I’ve heard stories.”

She looked him over, then reached into her pouch and slowly unwrapped her personal deck.

“Baby, you can sit.
But if you’re gonna play with the Queen, you better come prepared for a crown, or a humbling.”

The room gasped.
Someone whispered, “Lord, cover him.”

Holy Hands and Heated Cards

They were joined by two brave witnesses, Deacon Roy and Sister Toni, who both prayed before drawing their first card.

The game began slowly.

Red 7. Red 2. Red Skip.

Pastor Mike played with flair.

“That’s a divine draw!”
“The Lord said reverse the curse!”
“I walk in victory… and Skip!”

He was confident.
He was charismatic.
He was doomed.

Sister Geraldine barely blinked.
She adjusted her glasses and laid cards like Scripture, orderly and inspired.

“Mmhm,” she hummed. “Favor ain’t loud. It’s accurate.”

The Turning Point

Round 5.

Pastor Mike was down to two cards.
He grinned at the crowd and said,

“UNO’s comin’, y’all. Get ready for the laying on of hands!”

Sister Geraldine’s smile didn’t move.
She laid down a Reverse.
Then a Draw Two.
Then a Wild.
Then... the mighty Draw Four.

“Take these... in remembrance of wisdom,” she said.

The room erupted.
Children clapped.
Someone passed out fruit punch like communion.

Pastor Mike stared at the growing stack in his hand like Judas at the Last Supper.

Teach Us, Mother

He looked up, stunned.

“I’ve never been this humbled… not even during altar call.”

Sister Geraldine leaned in.

“Baby, Proverbs 16:31 says ‘Gray hair is a crown of splendor, attained in the way of righteousness.’
And I’ve earned every strand.
I’ve buried friends, cooked for enemies, and played Uno with demons in disguise.
You think I can’t handle a youth pastor in Jordans?”

The room was silent.
Then Deacon Roy yelled, “Well!”

Even the folding chairs scooted back on their own.

Anointing and Apologies

Pastor Mike put down his cards.

“I’m not even mad. That was... biblical.”

She smiled.

“I know. I pray and I play.”

They shook hands.

A few minutes later, Pastor Mike pulled out his phone and made a note:
“Sermon idea: When God Hits You with a Draw Four.”

From that night on, no one challenged Sister Geraldine without fasting first.
She remained undefeated, unbothered, and graciously glorious.

And Pastor Mike?
He still played Uno.
But now... only online.
And only on Mondays.